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The Boss Of Me (transcript)
*'Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof': snoring *snoring - Awesome news, guys. *00:00:16 Today's "bring your kid to work day" at my dad's office. *00:00:20 - But, timmy, you don't have a kid. *00:00:22 - Anyway, I get to see my dad's totally cool job, and better yet, I get to miss a day of school. *00:00:29 - That's great, sport. *00:00:30 Now, what does your dad do again? *00:00:31 - I'm not sure, but I'll let you know at the end of the day. *00:00:35 Time to dress for success. *00:00:42 I bet my dad can't wait to take me to work today. *00:00:46 Ugh! huh? *00:00:49 - Hi, timmy. *00:00:50 Meet the kid I can't wait to take to work today instead of you. *00:00:53 He's a rental. *00:00:56 - You rented a kid? *00:00:57 - Timmy, timmy, timmy, work is a very competitive environment. *00:01:01 I've got to put my best foot forward, not some smelly foot with embarrassingly large teeth. *00:01:08 - Ugh, dad, you've gotta take me. *00:01:10 I don't want to go to school. *00:01:11 I mean, I've always wanted to learn ..whatever it is you do. *00:01:17 Agh! *00:01:18 rings - It's my manager. *00:01:21 He said your check bounced. *00:01:22 I'm outta here, moron. *00:01:24 - Good news, timmy. *00:01:25 You can come. *00:01:26 - Awesome! *00:01:28 jazzy music ♪♪ ♪♪ *00:01:33 - welcome to pencil nexus, timmy. *00:01:35 - Wow. *00:01:40 " flushing Pencils, that is. *00:01:45 Let's take a ride down the graphite river. *00:01:49 together ♪♪ WELCOME ALL TO PENCIL NEXUS ♪♪ *00:01:52 ♪♪ it's our love of pencils that connects us ♪♪ *00:01:55 ♪♪ we also have a branch in Texas ♪♪ *00:01:58 - ♪♪ if you've got questions ♪♪ *00:01:59 together ♪♪ YOU CAN TEXT US ♪♪ *00:02:01 - Here at pencil nexus, our ultimate goal is to find a pencil that lasts forever. *00:02:09 - Hey this is kind of nice. * 00:02:12 Aaaaagh-ah-ah-augggh. * 00:02:15 I'll never be the same. * 00:02:18 - Can you imagine it, timmy, creating a pencil that would never wear out? *00:02:21 Whoever did that would be a hero. * 00:02:23 They'd have their picture on the wall of fame. *00:02:25 Ohh, look. 00:02:26 It's my boss, mr. ed leadly. *00:02:30 I'm his favorite employee. *00:02:31 - Palmer, you're on thin ice. * 00:02:33 - It's turner, sir, and this is my son, timmy. * 00:02:37 - Nice to meet you, little boy. *00:02:38 Have a pencil pop. *00:02:40 And, as for you, turner, you'd better start performing. *00:02:43 Take a look at your productivity report. *00:02:46 - Eh, there's nothing in there. *00:02:48 - Bingo! *00:02:49 So step it up, or you're gone. *00:02:51 - Yes, sir. *00:02:54 Can I have a pencil pop too? *00:02:55 - No! *00:02:58 Timmy, I've gotta think fast. *00:03:00 ed leadly's going to fire me if I don't come up with an earth-shattering pencil-based idea. *00:03:08 - Uh, what have you come up with so far? *00:03:10 - Well, there's my pogo pencil. 00:03:14 Agh! 00:03:15 Sadly, it's only good for making periods. 00:03:17 But I do have this: my invisible pencil. 00:03:21 ..i dropped it! 00:03:23 It's gone, just like my career. 00:03:26 hysterically Timmy, what am I going to do? 00:03:31 Pencils are my life. 00:03:34 If you need me, I'll be curled up on the men's room floor crying like a little jobless baby who lost his invisible pencil. 00:03:41 AAAAAAAAAH! - hysterically - Ha, you don't scare me, mr. pencil sharpener. 00:03:51 Now that I'm a fairy again, I'm indestructible. 00:03:55 Agh! ahhh! 00:03:57 - Hey, that gives me an idea. 00:03:59 I wish for a perfect, indestructible pencil that would last forever. 00:04:06 fanfare choral music Now all I have to do is give my dad the credit for inventing this, and he'll get to keep his job. 00:04:16 - Timmy, I heard a choir of angels. 00:04:19 Did something good happen? 00:04:21 - It sure did, dad. 00:04:22 While you were gone, I invented this: A pencil that lasts forever. 00:04:27 - Oh, you did? 00:04:31 It'll wear down. 00:04:32 Whoo. 00:04:33 Eventually they all do. 00:04:45 I don't believe my eyes. 00:04:47 This pencil hasn't worn down at all. 00:04:50 It's indestructible. 00:04:51 I'm going to call it the everleady! 00:04:54 - Why don't you show it to your boss? 00:04:56 - Great idea. 00:04:57 Once he sees this perfect pencil, he'll promote me to the head office in pencilvania. 00:05:01 - Uh, first you may want to put on some pants. 00:05:07 bell dings - What is it, tacamodo? 00:05:10 .. I mean, your majesty... 00:05:13 I mean, your bossiness. 00:05:15 ..this. 00:05:17 choral music - It's a pencil that never wears down. 00:05:21 - I call it the everleady. 00:05:22 - Why, if you're right, pencil nexus would become the most successful pencil company in history. 00:05:27 I have to see this to believe it. 00:05:38 It works. 00:05:38 How on earth did you come up with this? 00:05:41 - Well, actually, my son invented it whias weeping on the bathroom floor, but I named it. 00:05:46 The naming part was mine. 00:05:47 - Turner, you're hired. 00:05:49 - I am? 00:05:50 But I have school tomorrow. 00:05:51 I mean, when do I start? 00:05:53 jazzy music ♪♪ ♪♪ 00:06:09 - this is chet ubetcha reporting. 00:06:10 Customers are lined up around the block to get their hands on the greatest pencil phenomenon ever: The everleady. 00:06:17 Auuugh! 00:06:19 And since everleadys last forever, people only need one, which means there's no need to chop down trees to make pencils. 00:06:28 In related news, a dense forest has quickly sprung up in dimmsdale. 00:06:32 In unrelated news, I'm being mauled by a raccoon. 00:06:35 Auuugh! 00:06:38 - Congratulations, turner. 00:06:40 Your picture's on the wall of fame. 00:06:43 squealing - Wait for me! 00:06:47 Ugh! 00:06:50 - Welcome to your new office, turner. 00:06:54 - Wow. 00:06:56 - As we say in the pencil business, heh, you're my number two. 00:07:00 flushing - Can we call me something else? 00:07:05 - You're vice president. 00:07:06 You know what that means? 00:07:07 - I get to totally goof around all day and use the company jet to go to the mall? 00:07:11 - No, that's my job. 00:07:14 .. 00:07:16 Starting with timberlake. 00:07:18 - But that's my dad, and his name is turner. 00:07:21 - Fine, turner, fire turner. 00:07:23 - Sport, you're not really going to fire your dad, are you? 00:07:28 You know how much he loves his job. 00:07:30 - You heard mr. leadly. 00:07:32 I don't have a choice. 00:07:33 Dad, can you step into my office? 00:07:35 - Timmy, you can't toss your dad out on the streets. 00:07:39 They're crawling with bears. 00:07:41 growling bell dings .. 00:07:46 I mean, mr. son? 00:07:47 - That's right, timberlake—I mean, dad. 00:07:50 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go. 00:07:52 - Eh, go where, to pencilvania? 00:07:55 Yes, a promotion! 00:07:57 .. 00:07:59 - All my dreams are finally coming true. 00:08:03 - No, dad. 00:08:03 - That's right, honey, order the yacht. 00:08:06 - Dad, no, you're not getting a promotion. 00:08:09 You're being fired! 00:08:10 - Ohhhh, well, okay, I guess. 00:08:14 Heh-heh, don't worry, I'll be fine. 00:08:16 See you at home, dream-crusher—I mean, timmy. 00:08:20 Heh-heh, hee-hee-hee. 00:08:21 hysterically I'm a little jobless baby. 00:08:25 I lost my invisible pencil. 00:08:29 - That was terrible. 00:08:30 I hope I never have to fire anyone again. 00:08:32 - Turner, you've gotta fire everyone. 00:08:34 Because of the everleady, people only need one pencil for their whole lives, so sales have plummeted. 00:08:39 We're closing down production. 00:08:41 sobbing We're all little jobless babies. 00:08:46 sobbing all: WE HATE TIMMY. 00:08:50 - I've gotta fix this somehow. 00:08:52 I wish all the everleady pencils were destroyed. 00:08:55 - We can't destroy them, sport. 00:08:56 .. 00:08:59 - And awesome too. 00:09:01 Because they last forever, .. 00:09:04 Until it gives you great big muscles. 00:09:09 - Wait a minute. 00:09:10 What if it really did happen? 00:09:12 whispering - Eep! 00:09:21 Aaahhhhh! 00:09:24 - Hey. 00:09:27 all: YAAAH! 00:09:29 - Turner, we've got trouble. 00:09:30 All the people who bought your stupid pencils are writing upawsuits and death threats against me. 00:09:35 Ordinarily I'd ignore them, but they're pounding down the doors with their giant misshapen arms and writing some very nasty things on the company walls. 00:09:42 In order to stave off a lawsuit, I've agreed to replace everyone's everleadys with regular old number two pencils, so we've got to ramp up production and fast. * 00:09:51 Hire everybody back, including your idiot father, tarentino. * 00:09:57 jazzy music ♪♪ ♪♪ * 00:10:18 at door - Mm? * 00:10:20 - You wanted to see me, dad? * 00:10:22 - Eh, that's right, turner. * 00:10:23 ed leadly his entire company, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go. * 00:10:31 - Go where, pencilvania? * 00:10:33 - Heh-heh, no, the unemployment line, because you are fired. * 00:10:38 ..are... f-f-f-fired. * 00:10:41 - That's right, honey, I'm sending him home right now. * 00:10:44 Help yourself to a pencil pop on the way out. * 00:10:47 - Thanks, dad. * 00:10:47 Oh, by the way, I found your invisible pencil. * 00:10:50 - Yippee! *00:10:51 This pencil's my ticket to the wall of fame. * 00:10:55 - Thanks, guys. *00:10:56 My dad got his job back, and everything's normal again. *00:10:59 - Ah, I dropped it again. *00:11:01 Curse you, invisible pencil! *00:11:03 - Well, almost everything. * 00:11:06 - Pencils Category:Episode transcripts Category:Season 7 transcripts